Completely pointless, but utterly hilarious.

Camille, this one’s all for you. We should have done this at your wedding.

Some 88 year old lady called in to the Ellen DeGeneres show, and she’s absolutely hilarious. Enjoy.

I haven’t seen too much of this show, but I found this little video on this site I go to when I’m Bored. This is sooo true, especially if you have kids. This is hilarious. Click here to go to the site and view the clip.

This is a cool video about a gas that is heavier than air. They do some funky stuff with it.

My mom sent this out to a bunch of us, I thought I’d post it up here. Guess I need to start working, so I can measure up to this guy! The article is below, and the video is at the bottom below that. Enjoy.

Here’s the story:
Eighty-five times he’s pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in Marathons. Eight times he’s not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a Wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and Pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars–all in the same day.

Dick’s also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back Mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. On a bike. Makes Taking your son bowling look a little lame, right?

And what has Rick done for his father? Not much–except save his life.
This love story began in Winchester , Mass. , 43 years ago, when Rick Was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him Brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs.

“He’ll be a vegetable the rest of his life;'’ Dick says doctors told him And his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. “Put him in an Institution.'’

But the Hoyts weren’t buying it. They noticed the way Rick’s eyes Followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the Engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was Anything to help the boy communicate. “No way,'’ Dick says he was told. “There’s nothing going on in his brain.'’

“Tell him a joke,'’ Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a Lot was going on in his brain. Rigged up with a computer that allowed Him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his Head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? “Go Bruins!'’ And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the School organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, “Dad, I want To do that.'’

Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described “porker'’ who never ran More than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he Tried. “Then it was me who was handicapped,'’ Dick says. “I was sore For two weeks.'’

That day changed Rick’s life. “Dad,'’ he typed, “when we were running, It felt like I wasn’t disabled anymore!'’

And that sentence changed Dick’s life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly Shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon.

“No way,'’ Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren’t quite a Single runner, and they weren’t quite a wheelchair competitor. For a few Years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway, then They found a way to get into the race Officially: In 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the Qualifying time for Boston the following year.

Then somebody said, “Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?'’

How’s a guy who never learned to swim and hadn’t ridden a bike since he Was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick Tried.

Now they’ve done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironmans in Hawaii . It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old stud Getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don’t you Think?

Hey, Dick, why not see how you’d do on your own? “No way,'’ he says. Dick does it purely for “the awesome feeling'’ he gets seeing Rick with A cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.

This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston Marathon, in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best Time? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992–only 35 minutes off the world Record, which, in case you don’t keep track of these things, happens to Be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the Time.

“No question about it,'’ Rick types. “My dad is the Father of the Century.'’

And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a Mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries Was 95% clogged. “If you hadn’t been in such great shape,'’ One doctor told him, “you probably would’ve died 15 years ago.'’ So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other’s life.

Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston, and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland, Mass. , always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every weekend, including this Father’s Day.

That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy.

“The thing I’d most like,'’ Rick types, “is that my dad sit in the chair and I push him once.'’

Here’s the video:

This is a little email Camille sent out. Pretty cute. I think at the bottom it said something like forward this to another mom or something like that. Careful, those kind of emails could have trackers on them! But here, you can read it safely, and if you want to tell someone else about it, just send them to this link! No tracker hackers here!

JUST A MOM?

A woman, renewing her driver’s license at the County Clerk’s office
was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation.

She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.

“What I mean is,” explained the recorder,
“do you have a job or are you just a……?”

“Of course I have a job,” snapped the woman.

“I’m a Mom.”

“We don’t list ‘Mom’ as an occupation, ‘housewife’ covers it,”
said the recorder emphatically.

I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the
same situation, this time at our own Town Hall.

The Clerk was obvi ously a career woman, poised,
efficient and possessed of a high sounding title like,
“Official Interrogator” or “Town Registrar.”

“What is your occupation?” she probed.

What made me say it?
I do not know.
The words simply popped out.
“I’m a Research Associate in the field of
Child Development and Human Relations.”

The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and
looked up as though she had not heard right.

I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words.
Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written,
in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.

“Might I ask,” said the clerk with new interest,
“just what you do in your field?”

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice,
I heard myself reply,
“I have a continuing program of research,
(what mother doesn’t)
in the laboratory and in the field,
(normally I would have said indoors and out).
I’m working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family)
and already have four credits (all daughters).
Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities,
(any mother care to disagree?)
and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it).
But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the
rewards are
more of a satisfaction rather than just money.”

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk’s voice as she
completed the form, stood up and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career,
I was greeted by my lab assistants — ages 13, 7, and 3.
Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model,
(a 6 month old baby) in the child development program,
testing out a new vocal pattern.
I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy!
And I had gone on the official records as someone more disti nguished and
indispensable to mankind than
“just another Mom.” Motherhood!

What a glorious career!
Especially when there’s a title on the door.

Does this make grandmothers
“Senior Research associates in the field of
Child Development and Human Relations”
and great grandmothers
“Executive Senior Research Associates”?
I think so!!!
I also think it makes Aunts
“Associate Research Assistants”.

A human sling shot. I don’t know if I’d have the guts for this one.

This woman seems to have a hard time understanding how to use the gas pump.

Happy Birthday Denise! She’s 23 today!